taking it a minute at a time

Well we received a call from the bank.  She informed us that I was indeed correct about home equity loans, and that you can only take out a total of 80% of assessed home value.  When I had asked to originally get information, she said it was 80% of the difference between owed on mortgage and assessed value, so everything looked great for us.  I know this is all a numbers game, but you can't help but take it a little personally.  I guess I will be contacting ARC about finacing; I mean our credit score is 739, so surely to god the interest will be closer to 3.99% as oppose the 19%.  I'm also hopeful that we'll be approved.  If we are not, we will be stuck.  Our IVF procedure will have to be postponed until we can save the money.

This is the part that breaks my heart, because money may be the condom on our conception.  I keep telling myself to have some faith, but at the same time I look at what faith has brought me to this utter point of despair with what?

I know I will not qualify for the refund based option because I have had a miscarriage; as if a miscarriage doesn't suck enough and I don't have to deal with the reprecussions of it every single day, now it has me marked in the rejection pile and rejection sucks.

Just taking it one minute at a time.