Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Joy someone else is pregnant

1%er is me.  It's not as exciting as being a 1%er on Gangland where it's the 1%er that have killed someone.  Technically, I'm like the 1% of people that must have an ivf in order to get pregnant.  It is not equally as fun.  In fact, I think this whole infertility may make me part of the elite class of 1%er who break the law.  I have had some murderous thoughts towards strangers who have a kid but neglect them in Walmart, I think, "And they get a kid?"

Today was a double whammy.  On facebook, two friends have annouced their pregnancy today.  For one, this is her second kid she has had since I've been on my infertility journey.  I know this probably isn't fair for me to make this judgement, but deep down I feel like if a person hasn't dealt with any infertility then they don't deserve a kid.  I know it is wrong for me to make this judgement, but that's how I feel.  Does anyone else feel this way?  Any coping ideas?


  1. I've been reading a great book called Conquering Infertility. It has a lot of great suggestions for how to handle pregnancy announcements. Many of them involve reframing our thoughts to something more logical, mini-breathing and relaxation, separating yourself from things like Facebook. I totally understand the sad feelings when someone announces a pregnancy. However, try not to allow yourself to have unhealthy thoughts like they don't deserve a kid. Instead try to reframe what you are saying. You deserve a child, so do they. Keep your head up!

  2. I know it is so wrong to feel that way, but I feel so bitter. And part of me has a hard time accepting the fact that life isn't fair. I do not wish any body ill feelings except I question why them and not me? What can I do? I'm always searching for the answer because it's fustrating when someone else seems to be able to get pregnant so much easier. It doesn't bother me when somebody who has battled infertility gets pregnant. Needless to say, thanks for the book recommendation; I'll be checking it out.

  3. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I had to deactivate my Facebook account and a lot if that had to do with seeing people that weren't really ready or prepared to have children. My sister being one of them, once she had her baby she gave her up to a couple that she didn't even know. I am glad she made that choice but all the same it was hard to see her all excited and showing her baby bump of while I was struggling. Sorry for such a long rant. I don't regret leaving Facebook as I felt chained to it and now I feel free. Do what you have to for yourself. Hope you feel better!