Thursday, December 20, 2012

More to the story

I was correct in my thoughts.  I am in fact having a chemical pregnacy or early miscarriage.  I'm suppose to go back on Wednesday to verify that my hcg levels are at 0. 

I'm suppose to go ahead and start my birth control since I'm bleeding so heavy.  I absolutely hate birth control pills.  Nothing personally but they drain the sex life.  I mean here I am going through their pseudo menapausal state and the side effect that is the understatement of a lifetime is vaginal dryness.  I can try lube, but it only seems like the vag absorbs it or perhaps it's so dry it evaporates that quickly.  Uggh!

I'm also suppose to call back and schedule another appointment for FET.  I asked the doctor point blank, "If we put in the two best embryos, what are the odds that the others will even work?"  The doctor was stunned that it didn't work for us, but said ultimately, it comes down to having a 50% chance.  1/2 of the time it doesn't.  She also said that those were the two best embryos on day 3, but they are frozen on day 5 or 6.  We had five frozen, and three of them are graded as AA, 1 is AB, and 1 is BC.  I would really like for this to work, but I'm very doubtful.  The fresh didn't work.  I had a chemical.  So now, I need to find out is it better to do it sooner than later and if FMLA will cover days that I need to be off work to complete this.  I have exhausted almost all of my days for two IUIs and an IVF.  Part of me would rather go ahead and do the FET sooner, so if it doesn't work, I can use the summer vacation to do another fresh cycle.  Luckily, I purchased 1 cycle plus 1, but I also have to do the FET in a certain amount of time. 

I guess what bothers me the most is that I continue to get my hopes up.  After everything.  Like we did this cycle in december.  Every December I tend to have an early miscarriage.  I thought well this would show that third times a charm.  Instead, December decided to show me three strikes your out.  I also think it is funny, in a not so funny way, in regards to literature, we always discuss winter as a symbol for death, ending, etc.  Kind of ironic when I apply it to my pregnancies.  Winter encompasses my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Don't put too much thought into the quality of the embryos. Our first IVF cycle we transferred 1 top graded embryo on day 3...that failed. Then we did a FET with 1 top graded blast...that failed. Then on our second IVF cycle, we transferred 2 non-top embryos...a 9-cell and a 7-cell. Now we are 7 weeks pregnant with twins (yes I know it is very early, but the non-tops implanted and the tops did not). My RE reminded me that women who get pregnant naturally, we don't know what "grade" their embryos are. It's very possible that millions of women get pregnant with what they might consider non-top quality embryos. Good luck with the FET! It is definitely easier on the body.