I have started the craze aspect of POAS. I want to have time to absorb a positive or negative before the doctor's appointment, so that I will have quesitons prepared to ask. I know some people will judge me and say to wait until the doctor's appointment, but I think that would cause me greater stress.
Right now, everything is negative. I know it is early, but I also know I have a history of negative tests, so why should this be any different. I would love to get a positive, but I need the poas to keep me grounded. I also know that I would be equivilent to 10dpo, and the notion of getting a positive is not out of this world. I also know that frer advertises that you can see a positive 6 days before missed period; that would have been yesterday.
I'm really going to be bummed if this doesn't work. Probably a little heartbroken, but I will get through it. I think a lot of times in the infertility community, fertiles and outsiders don't realize the strength it takes, and the only reason we muster the strength is because we have no other option.
My doctor's appointment is this Thursday. Luckily, I have a lot of things I can work on for work to keep my mind preoccupied some.