Please help: Assurance or Insurance

Since we will be spending a crap ton of money at the chance of having a child aka ivf (can you sense my bitterness?), I want to make sure I do everything right to improve my statistics for this conception to work and for this conception to stick.

I am currently doing p90x to get in good shape, and to hopefully drop some weight before the IVF.  I know nutritionally, I need to make sure I eat a crap ton of veggies and fruit.  I know I will need to avoid second hand smoke (sorry mom).  Once I start stims, I plan to routinely incorporate yoga and meditation into my life to minimize my stress.  I know I can try to incorporate pineapple in my diet during the hopeful implantation phase.  Are there any other things out there I can do?  For ladies who had a successful IVF, what specific things did you do or not do?

2 Eggs 1 Cup

I received a positive opk, so I called the doctor to schedule my IUI.  The doctor looked at my lining, she said it was perfect.  Then she looked and found two follicles on my right ovary!  That's right my right ovary is rocking!  I have one measuring at 20 mm and one at 18 mm.  Both are pop-able!  Anways, she gave me a trigger shot and tomorrow we have our IUI.  I'm really excited about this cycle.  I'm feeling pretty positive about it!

Last Femara Cycle

I called to refill my Femara prescription and realized it was my last refill, so what do I do next?  So I called the doctor to ask them what they would like me to do.  If I need to schedule in the middle of the cycle or at the end, so next cycle would not be a bust.  My doctor is recommending Femara + IUI.  If this cycle doesn't work, we will be moving on to injectables. 

I'm just kind indifferent about it all.  I just want something that will work.  It sucks because it means I'm getting closer ivf.  I think I will ask my doctor about a trigger shot with this cycle.  If I'm producing the eggs and the lining looks good on Femara, why have I not gotten pregnant?  Is it possible I'm not actually releasing an egg and just going through the motion?  So this cycle, I will be waiting for my positive opk.

I guess I just figured....

20 years ago….

I guess I just figured first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

15 years ago

I guess I just figured Aunt Flo was only used by tweens, so boys wouldn’t know they were talking about their period.

10 years ago….

I guess I just figured everyone got pregnant, and usually they were accidents.  I figured to get pregnant it only took one sperm and one egg, so all that was needed was one man and one woman.

5 years ago….

I guess I just figured getting pregnant would come easy.  When I wanted and was ready to have kids, all we’d have to do is have sex.  I figured it might take a few months, but I’d definitely be able to have  my first baby at the  ideal age of 25.  I figured to have a big family might take time- time having sex.

This year

I guess I just figured….

I guess I just figured that we would for sure get pregnant with the more minor drugs.  We’ve been pregnant twice and that was natural.  I will be starting my last cycle of Femara, and everything I’ve read online seems more promising for the first cycle of use. 

It scares me- completely terrifies me to know that I’ll will potentially be moving on to shots.  Not because shots hurt or anything like that, but shots are typically a precursor to IUI and IVF.  This scares me because of the costs associated with these procedures.  Will my family be limited because of financial means?  Another reason this scares me is because it may take years to get the first one here.  I have always wanted a big family- I’d say five, so I could have a tie breaker, but I know as you get older things don’t work as well, and I’m already having issues when I’m supposed to be in my prime.  I also know that a study was done that showed women with O- blood where more likely to go through early menopause, so I may not have the time that someone else may have.  It scares me because I am getting steps closer to finding out that maybe I won’t be able to experience full term pregnancy.  What if there is nothing we can do about my murderous body.  I hate how it has murdered two and slowly suffocating my dreams. 

I know this seems very negative.  I was pretty positive until AF arrived-whatta bitch!  Sure, I could blame this on hormones, but I’m not using that as my crutch.  I think this is how I really feel.  I have figured a lot of things, and I don’t know what I believe now; other than I am one scared girl!

Birds and Bees: They must not be working

I guess the reason I found this humorous was because I can relate.  I usually start soon after ovulation, and I take about three tests a day.  You might call be a peeing on stick obsessive delusionist.  Sometimes, I see a faint second line that no one else can see.  Pee sticks are expensive, especially at a box a day.  So, I have vowed to wait until 12 dpo.  We will see how this goes....

"A Smile Confuses an Approaching Frown"

This smiley face sure is confusing me!  WTH?  I'm only on cylce day 11.  Technically, I'm on cycle day 10 from my Femara count.  I can't believe I have a positive opk.  Is this not too early?  Sure I'm glad to see the little cuss smiling at me, but I just don't trust my body.  I can't believe I'm ready.  If this is actually positive, this is kind of nice considering we have the whole family reunion coming up.  I knew something was up this morning when my temperature plummeted.  I'll keep taking my temperature, but  we'll have to baby dance like crazy. 

Birds and Bees: Jane's Pregnant Again

I think we have all felt this way when other women have gotten pregnant.  To all my uterus hating friends out there!!!

Ramblings of the Reunion and the Trial and Tribulations of TTC Gal

We are getting ready to pack up for a family reunion in NE.  We are sharing a room with my dad and brother.   For the family reunion, my father has like 100 cousins on one side (I know you think I’m exaggerating, but truthfully, he has 70 first cousins).  Yes, a little ironic that I should suffer from infertility, since I have a lot of baby-making sexy Catholics in my family.  I have feeling this will be a very interesting trip.

For some background information, my ovulation day ranges from cycle day 12-21.  I know, my body doesn’t like predictability!  Anyways, currently, I’m on cycle day 7.  The reunion is on Sunday, which is of course cycle day 14. This terrifies me, because now I am trying to plan alternative arrangements should I piss a smiley face on an OPK.  If I do, the room situation is not looking very promising because we are sharing a room with dad and brother.  Talk about awkward.  So I’ve been thinking if only I was fertile, then I wouldn’t care if we missed this cycle.  Our alternative arrangement is praying that we don’t see a smiley face until day 16!  But just in case, I told my B to be ready for sneaking off to a bathroom.  He seemed a little uneasy.  I reminded him, “sex is not about your comfort; we got Preseed for that.”  I’m so glad he gets my sense of humor.  In addition to the room issue, my Aunt made me question my logic on this whole conception thing.

 My Aunt tells me that in order to get pregnant at the reunion, we will need some Tequila.  “You have to get drunk off of Tequila.”  Avoiding Tequila was my birth control as a teen.  I didn’t even know sex had to be involved to get pregnant from the stories she forewarned me of.   Since I started trying to conceive, I have avoided alcohol because every piece of literature says that it hampers fertility.  Yet, we all know that one girl (because I’m in my bitter stage of infertility, we’ll refer to her as “slut”) who had one hell of drunken night the night she got knocked up.  So who knows, maybe I will have to try that too!!!! 

For family reunions, we all have matching shirts in the same color.  I’ve been tye-dying shirts for my cousins to wear, and I was thinking about how much fun it would be to get pregnant this cycle.  For the next reunion, everyone could wear the shirt that says, “I went to the reunion and all I got was this stinking T-shirt.”  Then my hubby’s and mine could say, “I went to the reunion and all I got was this stinking cute baby.”    

Praying for a smiley face and conception AFTER the reunion!

Costs of IF thus far

I saw another blogger keep a tally of what their journey had cost them thus far, and I decided to do the same. Eventually, I will put it on this blog. So I decided to calculate the bills of everything from 2011 on. Keep in mind, this is not discussing any emotional costs, just pocketbook costs. Granted, this does not include opk (which cost over $30 per month) and the pregnancy sticks (which is about $8 for a three pack) which will usually last me about a day. I know a bit obsessive, but I hold out hope that each stick may result in a different result. So what if I took it the morning and afternoon, hcg builds fast and perhaps this evening will show me a different result. Last month, I used and bought ten packages of pregnancy sticks. Another part of me feels like if I find out early enough, I can go to the doctor and this one might be able to be saved. I have spent over 22,000 dollars in infertility treatments, diagnostics, etc. yet I have nothing to show for it. I don't have a baby; I don't have a bump. It's kind of like my miscarriages: nothing left but a bill. I guess I feel fustrated because I have spent 22,000; yet, hospitals don't require others to place a huge down payment before the family collects their baby from the nursery. In fact, some people can even collect welfare and yet they are allowed to pop out kids like a popcorn machine.

The early bird catches the sperm

I think everyone has felt like this at some point in their fertility journey. Funny! Check out the video "The Early Bird Catches the Sperm"

Femara Cycle Three

It is officially CD3, so I must begin Femara. After two prior failed cycles with Femara, I remain positive. Just positively hoping for a positive. Today is a good day; sometimes, it is hard to be positive, when I have been let down for two years. I pray that I will get the opportunity to experience full-term healthy pregnancy. At the beginning of each cycle (yes, obsessed), I check to see what the potential due date would be if I were to conceive in this month. So I checked based on my period and it said April 21- wouldn't that make an awesome birthday present? (My birthday is April 23). Hoping threes a charm!!!! Anways, here's some info about this cycle: FYI about this cycle: I am taking Femara 5mg on CD 3-7 I am taking baby aspirin I am taking prenatal vitamin with DHA I am taking two additional folic acid 400 mg vitamins I am exercising (try to do thirty minutes every day) I will be using an opk and having timed intercourse We will be having sex everyday when it gets close to O time (of course in gravity friendly positions and I wait in bed for thirty minutes afterward without moving usually with my pelvis propped) I picked up Preseed, just in case.

How our journey began

This blog is to chronicle our journey to have a baby.  We met at work in 2004 and soon fell in love, and in 2008 we married in October.  For most of our relationship, we thought we were really good at the pull-out method, so we decided to stop pulling out after we were married.  My obsession with temperature charting and peeing on opk's paid off, because in January 2011 I became pregnant.  As soon as I found out, I began to cramp and this little life oozed out of me for two weeks.  This wasn't suppose to happen.  You were suppose to be happy you got pregnant and 9 mos later you would deliver a healthy baby.  I didn't know a single person who was pregnant and had a miscarriage!

After that, I asked my gyno for a fertility workup.  All of my hormone levels came back fine.  My temperature charts, revealed some months with me not ovulating and the ultrasound revealed my uterine lining was small, so my doctor gave me prescription for clomid.  So I started Clomid in November of 2011.

  The husband has a sperm analysis which did not look very promising.  He scored a 68 on motility, and they wanted 150, so we went to a urologist.  He copped a feel on my hubby and felt a varicocele, so he recommended surgery.  I knew the fact I was having my hubby take hot baths could be the culprit, so I made him stop and we agreed to another sperm analysis in three months.  Three months later, his sperm analysis of motility  improved to 125, so we figured we were headed in the right direction.

In December of 2011, I found out I was pregnant 11 dpo.  On day 13, my temperature dropped, so I called the doctor.  She had me get my hcg pulled two days apart.  The first day it was 24, the second one was 110, but I started bleeding.  So the doctor had me take another blood test, and my hcg had dropped to 48.  I lost another one.

In January of 2012, my husband decided to get the surgery to fix his varicocele.  Three months later his motility has improved to 145, close to the 150 normal.

In March, I asked my gyno to refer me to a fertility specialist.  So I met him in April.  He took a look at all my tests and ran some more.  He prescribed my femara and progesterone for the luteal phase.  One of my labworks revealed I tested positive for a MTHRFR gene, but the doctor says it is the lower risk one.  After I did my research, I was concerned this may be the reason for the miscarriages, so I called the doctors and he said as a precaution I can take 2-3mg of folic acid and a baby asprin.   I'm currently on my second cycle, so we shall see.