I'm not shy

To whom this may concern:

Have you ever felt like you could just grab Mother Nature and punch her in the ovaries?  I have, and this is my story that I would love the opportunity to share with others.

Brandon and I began dating in 2004; I was only 18.  After a couple of years, we did the pull out method of birth control, and we continued this practice until we were married in 2008;  I just thought we were damn good at pull out method.  Fast forward to January 2011, after months of tracking my temperature and utilizing ovulation predictor kits, I finally received my second line on a pregnancy test.  Within two days of receiving my positive, the excitement along with my pregnancy was being flushed down the drain- I experienced my first miscarriage.

In April, I ask my gynecologist for help.  She takes many tests and we discover that my body doesn’t always ovulate and my husband’s sperm don’t really know how to swim. I begin Clomid and in December of 2011, I conceive again.  “A miscarriage happens, but not two in row,” my naive self thought.   Within a couple of days, my temperature dropped and I began to bleed.  The HCG in my blood increased from an 8 to a 24 to 108, and suddenly a 4.  My body was proving my naive self wrong.  That moment pushed Brandon into receiving a varicocele surgery to remove a varicose vein from his testicles.

In April, I was finally referred to a Reproductive Encrinologist.  I am currently taking Femara and undergoing IUI.  If this does not work, we will be referred to IVF. 

I always figured I would easily have my big family.  My fertility struggles are counter balanced with the lives of family members.  Almost all of my cousins on my mom’s side had their first child when they were only 19, and here we are waiting for our chance to become pregnant. 

I cope with the arrival of Aunt Flo by buying something for our future baby and put the items in a tote.  I didn’t expect my tote to be filling up already.  When I look at the lack of the room in this tote, it reminds me of how many failed cycles, how many times my body has failed me.  I have become a true uterus hater, all because Mother Nature can be a bitch.

Thank you for your consideration,