Tomorrow

We go to Gatlinburg!!!  I am so excited!  It will be nice to get away, instead of focusing on the IVF. 

I called ARC and their interest rates range from 3.99 to 19.99- WTF?!  Are you kidding me?!  That's the same as a credit card, and I don't own a credit card for that reason?!  Let's say we got the 19%, we would never pay off our IVF!

So this is what I am thinking:  maybe we'll take out a home equity line of credit if we qualify.  I don't know because we just refinaced the house.  We only need about 1100 for the IVF plus, then we'll hopefully pay for the ICSI (1200) out of pocket.  Then we'll have medicinces, which will use savings; which the meds will be between 2,000-5,000.  I'm hoping for the 2,000 range.

It's the financing of IVF that stresses you out, so needless to say, I need to get out of town.  Clear my head, because I'm going to allow this to stress me out.

IVF Calendar Thus Far

Sun	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri	Sat
		10/30   Brandon and Aut:  Appt. at 2:00 PM IVF Teaching (1/2 day)	10/31	11/1	11/2	11/3
11/4	11/5   Aut:  No School	11/6   Aut:  No School	11/7	11/8	11/9	11/10
11/11	11/12	11/13	11/14	11/15	11/16   Aut:  Take Last Birth Control Pill	11/17
11/18	11/19	11/20	11/21   Brandon and Aut: Female FDA labs Consent forms due, baseline E2 and U/S, freeze back-up sperm   Aut: No School	11/22   Thanksgiving   Aut: start Follistum 250 u   Aut: No School	11/23   Aut: No School	11/24   Aut:  start estrogen patch
11/25	11/26   Aut: culture E2 and U/S	11/27   Aut: begin another type of shot	11/28   Brandon and Aut: E2 and U/S, Male FDA labs Aut:  start estrogen patch	11/29	11/30   Brandon and Aut: E2 and U/S, and Brandon learns to give trigger shot	12/1   Aut:  start estrogen patch
12/2	12/3	12/4   Brandon and Aut:  Probable Egg Retreival (give or take 2 days)	12/5   Aut:  start estrogen patch	12/6	12/7   Brandon and Aut:  Probable Embryo Transfer (give or take 2 days, depending on retrieval date) Aut:  Rest at home	12/8   Aut:  start estrogen patch   Aut:  Rest at home
12/9   Aut:  Rest at home	12/10   Aut:  Rest at home	12/11	12/12   Aut:  start estrogen patch	12/13	12/14	12/15   Aut:  start estrogen patch
12/16	12/17	12/18	12/19   Brandon and Aut:  Pregnancy Test at Office

Met with the doctor today

Met with the doctor today, and we made our calendar.  We will complete our IVF in December.  Anyways, now I just wait for a period and then I will begin birth control pills.  So excited!!!

The week ahead.

Tuesday is the big IVF consult with the doctor.  I'm excited because of the success rate.  I'm apprehensive/emotional because 1 in 8 people have fertility issue- guess I won that jackpot.  Then majority of couples infertility can be resolved through medication or iui- once again it didn't work for us- won the jackpot again.  For some reason we like being in the small number of people group- uggh!  So I'm hoping, praying and using all my energy to make this successful (secretly, I admit I have no control on whether it will work, but ?I have control on diet, weight, etc).

Then next Sunday, we are going on a vacation- a much needed vacation.  I feel like our relationship is stronger because of the struggle, but the struggle is the focus of our lives.  We need to time to reconnect and focus on each other.  I'm beyond excited.

I Would Die For That

This is such an emotional video!  I can truly relate to the writer of this song!!!

Trying and struggling to stay positive

“But it just goes to show that if you’re strong and you’re positive, great things can come out of the darkest time in your life,” Rancic said.


Thank you!  I needed this quotation today!  Trying and struggling lately to stay positive.

Joy someone else is pregnant

1%er is me.  It's not as exciting as being a 1%er on Gangland where it's the 1%er that have killed someone.  Technically, I'm like the 1% of people that must have an ivf in order to get pregnant.  It is not equally as fun.  In fact, I think this whole infertility may make me part of the elite class of 1%er who break the law.  I have had some murderous thoughts towards strangers who have a kid but neglect them in Walmart, I think, "And they get a kid?"

Today was a double whammy.  On facebook, two friends have annouced their pregnancy today.  For one, this is her second kid she has had since I've been on my infertility journey.  I know this probably isn't fair for me to make this judgement, but deep down I feel like if a person hasn't dealt with any infertility then they don't deserve a kid.  I know it is wrong for me to make this judgement, but that's how I feel.  Does anyone else feel this way?  Any coping ideas?